Lap time

Ohhhhh, I see. Heaven forbid Rufus get on someone's lap for a little shut-eye. Noooooo, suddenly, when there is a cat on your lap, you remember all those important things that need to be done.

But a baby! A baby makes you sit around, enjoy the moment, take it easy.

Everybody wants a baby one his lap! Sure!

So disturbing

Please be advised that a baby was tortured to get this film. I do not condone Jen's actions. Just listen to her sickening giggle in the background. I mean, what kind of mother hangs cat toys in front of her baby and then sticks a strange object in the baby's mouth so he can't complain? A horrible one, that's what kind. I am especially bothered by the fact that Jen used toys that are clearly meant for me.

Bath time - outdoors

One day I was minding my own business, having some alone time in the shade, when Sam and Josh invaded the yard with a new pool. You might recall that the old pool was attacked by raccoons, so Josh replaced it with this one ... which leaks.

I just don't get it. Is this a human way to make bath time fun? It looks positively awful to me. And, I wonder, are the costumes required? Sam's outdoor bath costume has pirate decoration on it.

I would much rather hang in the shade.

More Rules

This is the punishment for breaking the various noise rules in the house.

And more rules have been added. The need for the additions arises from Sam's schooling, oddly enough. Apparently, when kids hang out together, they get mischievous. I already see enough mischief when just Sam is around. The thought of a daycare situation terrifies me. Sam exacerbates our growing rule problem by running with the wrong crowd at school; I think I mentioned this before. Henry is a bad influence.

Let's review.

1. No vomiting noises (old rule)

2. No choking sounds (also old)

New:

3. No gun noises in the house.

4. No fighting noises in the house.

Evidently, at school the kids get to play guns outside as long as no one is shot. I guess they aim into the air, like at an Iraqi wedding.

Jen is about to add two more:

5. No saying "Huh?" to Mommy and Daddy.

6. No imitating Mommy's frustrated growl.

Stretch II

I like how Jen repeats lessons so that Teddy really learns. I still object to the straightjacket ... although, I imagine the stretch feels even better after coming out of it. Maybe there is a cat straightjacket.

Bipedal Madness

I suppose that if I were bipedal I would also look for faster ways to get around. It seems sort of superfluous, however. Why does anyone need to go farther than they can run? Besides, it looks dangerous. I will make it my job to convince Sam to keep his paws on the ground and stick to walking and running.

Tail Pullers

You know how I feel about lots of company. I generally make myself scarce, especially when there are tail pullers around.

Just look at these two! You can tell they are thinking about tails - orange, fluffy ones. I think I heard Sam tell Nico to put the camera down so that he had two good pulling hands at the ready.

I am happy to report, however, that I was overreacting. I know. I know. It never happens; I am generally right about everything. But Cousin Nico was not interested in pulling my tail at all. He was quite gentle, actually, and merely wanted to admire my beauty and snap a couple photos.

Nico, you are invited back whenever you want.

Stretch

I fully support teaching Teddy to stretch properly. We all know that cats are extremely good at this practice. Every time I stand, I stretch before taking a step. We would all feel better physically if we stretched more. But what's with the straight-jacket?

Mobile

I don't know what it is with humans and all the stuff they hang up in various places. Our walls used to be nice and bare, but Josh has started hanging pictures of buildings and geographical features. It's weird.

Weirder still is the desire to hang things in front of Teddy. I mean, do they think he is actually looking at this thing? Or that he likes or dislikes it? Yes, they do. But he is merely looking in the only direction available to him at the moment. I mean, he can't even roll over.

Jen and Josh are seriously deluded.

My Blankie

This blanket is mine. Raisin and Topps sent it. Unfortunately, Jen is reluctant to let me have it because of my shedding issue. We had a little tiff about it, in fact.

Jen: You know what your problem is, Rufus?

Me: I don't have a problem.

Jen: Shedding.

Fine, I figure I will get to lie on it sometimes. Jen occasionally lets me up on the couch as long as I don't fidget too much. I am okay with sometimes. What I am not okay with is the fact that Teddy has already gotten spit up and some poop overflow/soak-through on it. I fail to see how hair is any worse. At least hair doesn't smell putrid.

I don't even want the blanket anymore.

Frisbees and Freedom

A lot of what we cats do is anarchic. We don't believe in borders or property, really. I see humans putting up fences and demarcating what is "theirs." I don't see the point and find limiting freedom quite un-American. I regularly visit Leslie's yard and Janice's; sometimes I even hop the fence and see what's on the other side of our yard. Jen and Josh don't even know the neighbors behind them. All these artificial boundaries make humans unfriendly and distrusting.

Sam was playing with Cousin Jinny a couple weeks ago and the frisbee went over the fence. I said that Jen should just go get it - hop the fence, walk into the backyard without asking, do something unlimited and uninhibited like that. But nooooo. Jen waited a couple of weeks and then knocked on the door with Sam in tow. Not only did the "neighbors" not give the frisbee back, but the lady that Jen saw inside the house didn't even come to the door. Maybe I am just used to the way Jen and Sam look so I don't find them intimidating or scary, but I have a feeling that most humans also see them the way I do.

So now what will Jen do? I think the fence is too high for her, and Sam has been slacking on his fence-hopping skills, so he probably won't go either. I think that relegates Jen to leaving a note. Uhhhhhh, so passive. So un-American.

Advanced Skills

I have been instructing Sam to kick it up a notch in the skill department. We had a long talk the other day about the mix of human and feline skills that he has to account for in this family. For example, he needs to coordinate outfits since humans do not take kindly to seeing each other walk around naked. Sam's fur just doesn't grow right - top of head only? - so we'll have to allow for that. In this shot we see that Sam's sock choices don't always measure up.

There is also technology in the human world. Although I myself am a Luddite - tools are for the apes - I now understand that Sam does not have the luxury to eschew all things tech. I am working with him to balance using his hands to operate tools and using his hands as tools (to kill rodents!).

Then we have skills that intersect the two worlds. Sam is interested in carrying Teddy. Jen and Josh do it the human way, but I am instructing Sam on the feline way. When Jen isn't looking, Sam works on using his mouth to lift Teddy by the neck. Jen might notice the bite marks soon, so we may have to scrap that feline lesson too.