Scurvy Dog

Inside time II

On the really hot days, Jen and Sam stayed inside, or ran errands to air conditioned places. I sat under a bush. Inside, Sam worked on his skills. Jen is determined to have him drive better than the Seattleites that constantly irritate her on the road. She is starting Sam early with his lessons.

Sorting shapes helps with spatial relations - yet another handy driving skill. You should know how big your car is so that you don't swerve into oncoming traffic to avoid cars that you actually didn't have to swerve around at all because, hey the streets are created with parking and driving in mind. Crazy.

How to stay focused amid distraction.

In my spare time I like to ...

Play with the hose then sit in a toss around dirt.

Slam my face into things. (Only the gash near the eye is a wound. The rest is food.)

Practice my modeling looks.

Chill with my elephants while doing puzzles in the crib.

Crib time

What did I say about freedom? We have to ask the tough questions and not be distracted by Sam's cuteness in this video. The question is: Why is he in the crib playing? Is he a danger to himself and others, or is Jen just being lazy? If we put him in the crib to play, we don't really have to watch him, do we?

Nosy Parker

I like to get into things - don't get me wrong. I can pry lids off boxes, open doors ... things that are slightly open are an invitation to explore. Usually, all I'm looking for is a place to either lie down or get something to eat. Now, Sam can open Jen's drawers. Fine. Sweaters inside mean that he should - fans, you know what's coming - lie down! Right. What does he do instead?

Extract ridiculous material and wear it?

No no no.

Freedom

You know, loyal fans, that I believe in freedom. Freedom from and freedom to. I have had my share of hardship over at 121; I know what it means to have your rights abrogated. But I lived through it; I persevered, and now look at me here at 2740! I get to stay out all night. I have friends! I hunt! I just think that Sam needs to exercise some freedom too. He is seeing his version of the utility room again and again - and he is blind to it! Just look! He sits in Nana's lap, he doesn't get a plate. I bet someone wipes his mouth when he's done.

Here we see Auntie Mel restraining Sam while the ladies were out at a cafe. How much do you want to bet that he was squirming in the stroller so they had to ramp up the distraction? Yeah. I know your game. Oh, Rufus, don't you want this toy? Oh, sorry, did I throw it in the utility room and close the door again? My bad. I am positive that there were birds to chase and cars to sit under at this place.

Now they bolt him to the table. My hackles are up, fans. Yours should be too. And, again, a plate. Even I get a glass bowl with my food and water. Sam can only be trusted with a paper towel and ... what is that? ... one blueberry at a time? And look at him. He just takes it and takes it in his silly, preppy shirt with elbow patches.

And now they are commandeering his weapons. Even babies deserve to bear arms, Grandpa. Even babies.

Skills training

Many of you have written in wondering what sorts of skills Sam acquired while in Tahoe. Yes, it was an academy of sorts while I took time off not only to relax, but also to prepare the 09-10 curriculum that he will learn at home. Here we see Sam working on his Spiderman skills. You never know when you will encounter netting that needs climbing.

He also learned weapons. He has a way to go with proper firearms technique.

There was dealing with the elements. Sam was exposed to sun and sand for hours at a time, with just his diaper on.

He learned animal calls as well. Here, he does his Stellar Jay - easy, I know, but he had to start somewhere.

Here we combine weapons and hunting. Sam actually learned to call the jays so that he could beam them in the head with this incredibly heavy ball. The mallets are for larger prey that only gets stunned by the ball hit.

Where have I been?

I know. I know. What has been going on? Where are you? All of these are valid questions. I've been on vacation in the greatest place. It was nice of Jen and Josh to give me the time off. After a year of adjusting to sharing my space (and their love), I needed some R&R - just some time to reconnect with me, you know? So Jen and Josh took Sam far away - to Lake Tahoe, CA.

This place is called "a beach." It looks like one big litter box, if you ask me. I heard there were off-leash dogs (bad), as well as off-leash birds (good). I have always wanted to catch myself a gull. Jen, Sam, and Josh just sat around, however. Opportunity wasted.

This place is called "a pool." It doesn't look like fun at all. Sam liked it, and insisted on walking back to it many times.

But here is the real luxury. Ahhhhhhh, Susan's house. Fans will recall that I have vacationed here several times. What can I say? You find a place you like, with hospitality that can't be beat, and you return time after time.

Short but sweet

Disgusting

This is along the lines of the smelling feet video. Thank goodness there is no footage (ha ha) of what else Sam likes to stick his nose in.

Eating Habits LVI

I post this not because I find it at all amusing, but rather because Jen let Sam grab berries out of a ceramic dish! Has this woman heard of plastic? Even I know this is a bad idea, and I'm a cat!

The yard

This house has a lot of fun things to do. There are 17 hoses, approximately. Sam likes to play with this one. Because it was so hot, he was allowed to drench himself and Jen.

Hose #11 is next to Buddha.

There are lots of rocks, which I think I previously mentioned. Sam finds them all and shows them off.

I know. I know. It's been so hot up here, so where are the photos of Sam frolicking in the obligatory kiddy pool? Well, since Jen is home alone with him, she can't really leave him in the pool and run inside to get the camera. Perhaps she could bring the camera outside with her to begin with and leave it in a completely dry spot. But she had to be in the pool with Sam, so that's hard. Before she could solve the dilemma, the pool popped. Okay. Okay. The pool was popped ... by someone ... with claws. I'm not admitting to anything. I'm just saying that you can't go painting fish on the bottom and not expect certain feline-minded individuals to take an interest. So there will be no pool shots.

New Stuff

Have I previously railed against the toy industry? I mean, give me a crumpled up piece of paper, and I'm happy. I like my catnip-stuffed mouse as much as the next cat, but do I need it? My point is, Sam has stuff because people like to buy him stuff. I tried to lecture him about materialism, but I just don't think he gets it. Here, Josh reads Sam one of his new books, while Sam chews on one of his new toys.

I believe this is a whale shark. Fun to flop all over ... and perfect for a cat body.

I think you are supposed to drop the shapes in and then reach your paws in through the holes. Alternately, you can drop a stunned mouse or rat in and then either bat at it through the holes, or knock the entire contraption around. I'm just waiting for them to leave it outside.

Sam likes these pop toys, but he is funny about them. If they are all stuck together, he grunts and holds them out to Jen who is supposed to help pull them off one at a time. Jen uses these to try and teach Sam colors. He seems to like the sound of "amarillo."

Retrospective IV

This was now, that was then. I'm sure you are looking for some words of wisdom at this point. I mean, what is a retrospective without some philosophy?

You've got to take it slow. Children teach you just how virtuous patience is. I have spun my wheels trying to teach Sam so many things: licking his hair, swatting at moving things, etc. But I have learned that I have to instruct and instruct and he'll get there. So I enjoy lying down in his presence while he throws rocks. And I let him grab my fur and pull my tail because he's still figuring out the "gentle" thing.

Brothers for life.

Retrospective III

Just a few days old and already making a lot of noise. Don't let this photo fool you. I was wondering what was going on and why so many people were coming to visit.

Sam had a really cool mobile, but would not let me show him how to swat. He just lay there.

Same with this thing: swinging animals, perfect for sinking claws into. The kid just grabbed that ring and stared.

He sees all.