Cat Naps

Jen hasn't been getting enough sleep because Teddy is waking up every couple of hours during the night. She's being punished for bragging to everyone that he was sleeping "through the night" and that she was getting "so much sleep." I don't see the problem with the amount of sleep Jen is getting, but she obviously has a problem because she is a zombie - an angry zombie.

I keep trying to tell her that she needs to look at it from a feline perspective: she is getting a bunch of catnaps. Cat naps are great. Plus, not like she needs a lot of sleep for hunting. I get a total of 20 hours because I need lots of energy to hunt rats, chase that black cat out of the yard, and scratch up the white chair. What does Jen do? I mean, we get groceries and milk delivered to the door! She only needs, what, five or six hours of sleep, broken up into one and two hour stretches? I think that's all she needs. Good thing, too, because that's all she gets.

One good thing about the zombie is that she has gotten lazy with, well, many things, but enforcing the Cat Laws is the major item on my list. I now regularly: drink out of the bathtub, sleep on Papa's bed, mark all corners with my hair and scent, and - here's the kicker - scratch the heck out of the white chair. I picked the old chair that Don left us when we bought the house. I am considerate, really, I did not choose Jen's precious furniture. It is just so much more satisfying to sink your claws into a chair than it is into a scratching post. Plus, it's warmer in the living room than in the Penthouse. The thing is, I have been doing this for months. Months. So, really, the fact that Jen recently caught me and shoos me away will not have any effect. The damage is irreversible and she should let me continue to turn to chair into a cat art piece. Then it would be a curiosity and a conversation piece!