My Vacation

I know we usually define and describe our vacations by retelling what we did. But please allow me - because you know me so well - to recount my vacation in the inverse. Or would that be the reverse? The obtuse?

I did not go to the park and waste time on this ridiculous contraption. I, instead, ran around outside in the fresh air, looking for rodents to kill.

I did not play peek-a-boo with Papa at the park, every stinking day. Do they even realize that they are running around in one giant litter box? Raccoons use litter boxes, too, you know.

I did not waste precious indoor time. Time that should be spent lying on couches, preferably ones with dark blankets.

I played with no balls whatsoever. I prefer to sharpen my reflexes on catching birds. One ... two ... three! Feathers everywhere!

I most certainly did not waste the dusk hour by bringing my inside toys out. This is the time of day when birds are drowsy from the day's activities and are gathering to talk about where they found seeds, etc. This is the perfect time for snacking on them because they are unaware! Who needs toys outside? You have fences to climb, birds and mice to kill, other cats to chase, and caterwauling to do.

Next time, I will go to San Bruno for three weeks and show you all how it's done right. I must say that I enjoyed my little break immensely. Josh and I had a gentleman's agreement about coming and going and meal preparation. It worked well. He's not a bad housemate.