Squirt

We all know what the squirt bottle is for. Sure, Jen used it this summer as a baby mister, but the bottle does not have the likeness of a baby on it. I think I have mentioned before that, true story, the bottle has a cat on it, as well as plants, a bucket and sponge, and an iron. As in: here are the suggested uses. I know, you're thinking, "Rufus, don't be paranoid. I see where you are going with this, but Sam is just playing."

No. I am not paranoid. This is how you open the door with one hand and squirt with the other.

This is how you talk on the phone and squirt.

This is where to aim the squirt.

Why do I even get water in the face? I scratch the screen windows. How else is Jen going to know that I want to come in, take two bites of food, and go out again? I also knead the threshold carpet in the workroom to be let out. Again, how are they supposed to know that it's night time, ergo, time to prowl? Sheesh.